Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Someday I will miss this

    All my life I wanted to be a wife and mother, and stay at home with my children.  Today as a mother of two and former teacher/nanny I am privileged to do exactly that, and I love it.  I can't imagine doing anything else.  As I nanny I watched other peoples children, whom I loved, but who weren't mine, and I waited for the day when that job would be mine.  I haven't been disappointed, though at the same time it has been harder than I ever imagined.  Disclaimer, I am a stay at home mom but even if I wasn't I think I would still feel this way.  This is all a part of being a mom, period.   Caring for and thinking of your children 24/7 even when you are not there with them.  I have so much respect for working mothers, and though I have moments where I wish I could "escape" to work just for a little while, I know that most of these mothers (many of whom I am pleased to have in my life as doctors, teachers, etc. ) long to be home with their children just like I am, and that when they go home each night their work goes on and on.  Kudos to you working mothers, and thank you for all that you do and the many sacrifices that you make. As I work with my children day in and day out I try to remind myself that someday not so far off, I will miss this time.  Some days as I go about cleaning up sticky messes (for the eighth time that day), running errands with tired and hungry children, mediating between a 3 year old and a 15 month old, getting up in the middle of the night to calm a frightened child, change wet sheets or fetch a bottle and then wake up early to do it all again, I can't wait to be past this needy stage.  These are things I will not miss.  But then it happens, as it does pretty much every day, you experience a moment that you wouldn't miss for the world but will never happen in exactly that same way ever again.  Maybe it's your toddler reaching for your hand as you walk side by side in the rain, and then looking at you and smiling, or when you see your children, even for a moment, loving each other and playing well together.  This is what makes it worth it, and why even with all the exhaustion and stress, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I will miss this.   I will never tire of holding a sleeping babe in my arms, or watching my daughter sleep peacefully in her bed.  I will never tire of seeing my child show compassion to someone else, be it another child, adult, or complete stranger.  I will never tire of hearing them say "I love you."  I will never tire of belly laughs or Sunday morning cuddles in bed.  I will never tire of seeing them figure something out that they have been working at.  I will never tire of the cute things they say or their impeccable timing. I will never miss the silence of a well earned nap time.  Of these things and many others I will never tire, and I will always miss them when I no longer have them.  And for all those other not so pleasant moments I am so grateful that the Lord has given me the grace to overcome them and be able to really appreciate these moments.  I am also grateful for the many friends and family that he has placed around me to offer me love and encouragement on those very difficult days and to help me make even more of on the fun days.  Over all though, I am truly blessed to be able to share these times and these little lives with my best friend and love of my life, Seth Finley.  He is a really amazing husband and father and I love seeing his personality traits come out in my little girls.  It makes me smile.  The Lord knew just what I needed when he put him in my life.  So grateful for the gentle reminder he can be to me when he comes home tired at the end of a long day and then happily plays with the girls. It reminds me to really savor this time we have. It won't last long and soon we will move into a new stage, but for now this is where we're at and we're loving it.


1 comment:

Yamhill County Diaper Ministry said...

Randy and I am so proud of you both. You are great parents and you're raising some pretty special children (who may or may not be all girls!)You are right to ask for the grace to be continually thankful for this time, as each of us should be for each stage of our lives! I sure do love you 5!