As the school year wraps up and we head into summer I have spent quite a bit of time reflecting on this past year and what I have learned. Every Tuesday morning I attend a mom's group where 60 or so mom's gather together without children (they have an amazing child care program) and spend time learning and growing together for the next two hours. Every year they have a theme and this years theme has been "First things first." Learning to put first things first so that we have more time for the secondary things. I believe that prioritizing is important for everyone, but as a scattered mom with way too many roles, I am finding it absolutely essential. The first thing you have to do when you prioritize is recognize what the things are that are most important to you and what that looks like. It's easy to find myself responding to the loudest need around me rather than the most important. Even as I write this one of my two cats has gone missing. I have a long to do list today but all I want to do is go look for my cat. However, I know my cat. She goes to the neighbors, she eats their food and then eventually, she comes home. My cat is probably fine. So I will continue with my well thought out list, and if she's not home this afternoon then I will walk over to the neighbor's house and look for her. I'm okay with that. So, most likely, is she.
Besides prioritizing this year another thing I have really been working on is learning to express gratitude for the things I normally take for granted. I don't want to wait until It's too late to appreciate what I have. For example, I want to enjoy my children while they are young instead of waiting to regret not doing so later. Yes, they are needy. Yes, they wear me out. They also bring me great Joy. My heart aches just at the thought of them growing up and moving on. Yes, this time is intense, but it's also wonderful. My family is in a sweet spot right now and it is important for me to recognize that because it helps keep me from taking them for granted.
My parents are really quite exceptional, and I can't even think about what I'm grateful for without thinking of them. My dad worked long hours for Evergreen Avionics, often traveling as well. I honestly don't know how my mom did it with four young children and my dad gone for weeks at a time, but somehow she did. When I think of my childhood however, I don't think of all the times my dad was gone, I remember the times he was home. I remember him coming how from work, exhausted but happy to see us and then watching him eat dinner and then go wash the dishes so my mom wouldn't have to. I remember him playing catch with me out in the front yard on summer evenings, and going to breakfast at Tommy's on Saturdays. I remember dump runs followed with milkshakes at Alf's Ice Cream. (Eating out of any kind was a rarity, so this was particularly special.) I remember hiking up to Multnomah Falls with my whole family and feeling like it really was waaaaay to far to hike. I remember going to church together as a family and praying together at the kitchen table. What I don't remember is how tight it must have been financially at times, or how much my dad was gone. Why? Because my parents focused on what we did have rather than what we didn't, and taught us to be present. These are traits I take to heart and try to implement into my own family.
The last thing I have been focusing on a lot lately goes with this one as well. It's contentment. Choosing to be satisfied no matter our circumstances. Recognizing my blessings (even when they come in the form of struggles) and choosing to be content. I am trying to stop looking at everyone elses "green grass" so that I can see my own. The definition of Contentment says "a state of happiness or satisfaction." I think that satisfaction is a more appropriate term, since happiness is a fickle thing. I think sometimes you start with choosing to be satisfied or content with your circumstances and happiness comes out of this decision. I live in an amazing little cabin of a house. I absolutely LOVE it. It fits our personalities like a glove. However, there is a lot of work to be done on it. We bought it with the intention of fixing it up, and like many things, it is taking a lot longer to even start that process than we anticipated. It's easy for me to start looking and around and only see what I want to change rather than what I already have. This only breeds frustration and stress in our home. When I start looking at our home with eyes that appreciate its beauty and the love that is shared here I am filled with Joy, Peace, and contentment. That's where I want to live. I used to feel that if I chose to be grateful with where I was choosing not to move forward or improve at all, but I don't thing this is true. Instead I think you just learn to enjoy the journey, which is after all, what life is all about. Love where you're at, instead of just longing for where you're headed.
Update: Less than 10 minutes after posting this, Stella wandered into the laundry room to eat her breakfast, no need to worry.
