For better or worse we are all shaped by the parents who raised us. Some people run from their upbringing, promising never to repeat the practices they were raised with, while others, like myself, can only hope to reflect the lessons they learned in childhood as they grow up and raise children of their own. This is a happy thing. As today just happens to be the Birthday of one of my very special parents, I thought I would take a moment to honor my dad today.
If you met my dad in passing you might describe him as quiet, or, a man of few words. If you actually know my dad, you'd know this perception is false. He is a man of conviction and great wisdom. He is compassionate, kind and extremely generous. To say that he is a "behind the scenes kind of guy" is the understatement of the century. In fact, sometimes he's so behind the scenes he's actually out of the country, but in spirit or in person he's still there. Encouraging, listening, and supporting in all he does
Yesterday I decided to write down a list of some of the things I have learned from my dad over the years, followed by a little background on this great man.
1. If it's broken and can be fixed, it should be fixed.
2. Never underestimate the power of putting your head down and getting "it done." Hard work is never wasted.
3. Forgiveness should always be given, but trust must be earned back.
4. If you want to have good relationships that last, you must put in the work. Period.
5. When you choose not to keep a record of wrongs you choose to ward off the bitterness that so often chooses to fester.
6. Finding contentment in your circumstances is the only way to truly be happy. My dad has never said these words out loud, he simply lives them with his life and they ring true.
7. Hot chocolate (and cherry pie!) can go a long way in curing disappointment.
8. You can never get good enough at cards to regularly beat the computer - but that's okay because the computer definitely cheats.
9. Work shirts never go out of style. Also, please don't give my dad any more work shirts.
10. You can never have enough rope.
11. If you tell a joke and no one laughs simply repeat the joke until you get the desired response. Most likely they didn't hear you the first time or they are just not quite on your "level."
12. There is always time to read to grandchildren.
13. Children are always interested in watching videos of a helicopter land on an aircraft carrier. Always.
14. Money is not worth striving after. Relationships are what really matters.
15. A good book is always worth reading.
16. Don't be hasty.
17. Don't be too tired to play with your children.
18. If you see a large snowball in the road, don't swerve to hit it. Just don't. But if you do, definitely don't comment on it as you do so.
19. Blackberries taste great on cereal.
20. Homemade buttermilk syrup is so good you could eat shoe leather with it, but please don't.
21. Always be prepared. (Some people never leave the boy scouts.)
My Father grew up in El Cajon, CA on an avocado farm, the second of three sons born to Leroy and Mildred "Millie" Stewart. He graduated at 17 and joined the marines. It was during his time in the marines that he became an avionics technician (I believe, although most likely after reading this my Father will email me with a list of corrections.) He spent three years in the Marines and then possibly two years of additional schooling (or something.) Although raised in the Lutheran Church it wasn't until his time in the Marines that he would say he really came to trust Christ as his Lord and Savior.
During this time he got his private pilots license (as did my mother- separately, and he spent time flying to and from Arizona where she was teaching on a reservation. They had grown up together, attending Christ Lutheran church together with their families. My mother was not very interested in this "young buck" at first, but thankfully she warmed up to him just before he gave up. My dad took a job at Evergreen Avionics and made the move to McMinnville, OR - a little while later my parents got married and my mother joined him in McMinnville. Two or three years later they bought the house they now live in, and their roots went deep. They started attending McMinnville Covenant Church when it was just being formed and stayed there for more than 15 years.
My Father's parents sold their farm a few years later and moved to McMinnville as well. Although we saw them pretty regularly my grandparents were not the babysitting type. We did work on the farm and we always knew they loved us, but I never felt as though I really knew my grandparents.
When my parents moved to McMinnville somehow they got connected with the McMinnville Covenant Church and quickly became faithful members. I do believe we would still be at the Covenant Church if it weren't for my mother choosing to make the change to True Vine Christian Fellowship, in large part due to the youth groups though at this time we were also in a homeschool community with several families who attended True Vine. However, even after all these years my Father continues to be a faithful member of the Wed. morning Men's bible study.
My Father continued to work for Evergreen for over 40 years, until they went bankrupt and were bought out by Erickson Aviation. They weren't a great company to work for, long hours, not great pay and no promises you'd be home at any point in time. He worked many, many 70+ hour weeks and was sometimes out of the country for months on end, never quite knowing when he would return. With four little ones at home this might have been the hardest on my mother, yet they loved the home they had built here and the friends they had made. Any job change would require a long commute or a move and in the end they decided against either. I remember towards the end of Evergreen's days asking my dad how he could work for such a company he worked so hard for with so little recognition for so long. He was quiet for a moment and then responded that they had provided the means to support his family and provide for our needs for all those years. He didn't hate the work, though the way the company ran might not be his favorite, it was enough. He wasn't bitter or frustrated or just waiting to be "done" and move on. He found a way to be content and not hold a grudge. This has always stuck with me.
After the company was sold he spent several years on supply ships for 6-8 weeks at a time on and then 6-8 weeks off. This was much better in many ways, but in the end my Mother convinced him to retire. Over the past few years we have been able to see a lot more of my dad, as he usually comes to visit on Tuesdays along with my mother. Watching my children have an actual relationship with my parents is one of my favorite things. My Father continues to teach me many powerful lessons and encourages me as I raise my own children. I will always be thankful to have him for my Father. Thanks Dad. Happy Birthday.
